A NEW BEGINNING

I have not posted anything to this blog since my son helped me to set it up. I am going to turn over a new leaf and begin using this space as a journal of my travels in a world that I did not choose to be in, but due to circumstances I am in anyway.

Before my husband passed away, we were a trucking team and had been on the road for 7 years together. My husband was my teacher, friend and the love of my life. When my son (Jared) graduated from high school in 1996, I found myself at home by myself and was not a happy camper. So when Chunk(my husband) asked me if I would like to go out with him, I agreed to go to school and learn the basics. I had never even driven a standard vehicle before I went to school and learned how to drive a big rig. The next seven years were wonderful, frustrating and a great learning experience till Chunk got sick and was diagnosed with lung cancer on August 15, 2003 and then died on October 27. 2003.

As you can tell from my profile, my husband of 27 years passed away almost 4 years ago and I have been in a downward spiral ever since. I really tried hard the first two years to create a new life for myself without him, but I have not accomplished what I set out to do.

After Chunk died, I sold our truck and went back to working in a clerical setting. I was an insurance billing clerk and a quality assurance clerk for the local hospital for almost 3 years until my health prevented me from continuing to work. In October of 2006 I had to quit working due to having health problems and was eventually approved for Social Security disability.

I have a terrible back according the my Neuroligist. He is always telling me to be very careful. Life is not much fun when you have to watch everthing you do. In April of 2005, I had my 4th back surgery and it did not work. I now have a spinal cord neurostimulator implanted in my body to help control the pain in my lower back and legs. Since July of this year, I have been battling pain in my neck, numbness in my arm and hand. After trying physical therapy, steroid injections and good old fashioned rest, I still have not made any progress with the new pain in my life. Next week, I go to another neurosurgeon to discuss the possibilities of him helping me with the literal PAIN IN MY NECK!!!!

So, my career plans are over for now and I must learn how to live alone, not have the daily contact with co-workers and learn how to live with pain that limits what I can and cannot do.

I have been filling my days this summer with getting my home in order. We purchased our home in 2000 and have not done much maintenance on it till this year. I have had a new sidewalk installed in the back yard, had the stucco on the house repaired and repainted, repaired and repainted two rooms inside and am as I write this getting a new roof on the house and the garage. I have other projects waiting for me, but are on hold till I get though with the doctors appointment next week.

I promise I will try to make the posts as positive as I can, but please know that I will have down days. I intend to use this space as sort of a daily inventory to keep me on the positive side. I would appreciate comments from anyone that has a situation similiar to mine. Maybe we can keep each other on the positive side of things.

Till later.